Howdy friends. We should apologize for not checking in sooner, but in truth, we had little to say. Little to say, that is, until last night. After our one and only live performance we took a bit of a breather, to regroup and recharge. But woe to anyone who mistook this brief hiatus for any sort of loss of steam on our part. Far from! Last night we finally got back together, chatted a bit, ate some pizza, and then got down to the business at hand...
We have begun a new album. And it's going to be rather crazy (no surprise there, right?). Last night we recorded the better part of the first song and it's shaping up verrrrry nicely. No word yet on the theme - of course there will be one - or anything else, but you can be sure that you'll love it.
In other news, we finally did some Touching Money Made Of Accounting last night and reconciled the books. This was extremely funny. We've had a wad of cash sitting in a mug at my place for years now and we at last got around to paying ourselves back for various expenses from the last two records and running our fingers through our massive profits. This exercise reinforced the fact that we are possibly the worst businessmen on earth, and if you have ever entertained any worry that maybe we're just in it for the money we can conclusively disprove this idea. Yes, after paying for printing, CD manufacturing, bribes for our session players, hush money for groupies, et cetera we hit upon the total.
Our last two albums have netted us total profits of... $37. There aren't a lot of bands who can move a couple hundred albums and make 37 bucks, but we managed it. Take that music industry!
My plan to quit my job and move to Fiji has been conclusively dashed. For now.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Rest of The Story
Well the ashes are smouldering now, but once it was a raging fire. The TEMOS live show, you see, it's a metaphor, not an arson. The appointed time arrived and we took our places. First we ripped off our shirts and threw on our custom-made TEMOS shirts (thanks Katie). I posed a bit, flexed a bit, generally intimidated the male section of the crowd (with an equal, but decidly more seductive effect on the female contingent). Then we flipped the switches and all systems were go. Flash bulbs. The crowd roared like a sea monster. Screams. Scallen, bopping his head. Yes, we had done it.
For those of you not in the know (for shame) the big show doubled as a CD release party, and we played (almost) the whole of the album. So we started with the hot new song "Pet Allergy" and it went...
Well! Can you believe it? We actually played it correctly. Chorus where the chorus goes. Solo here. Head banging here. Massive drum fill - all toms - right here. It all came together, and it was evident, at least to me, that we were NOT, in fact, going to embarass ourselves in front of all of our friends. Yes! We were lucky enough to be joined by our pals Matt "Matt" Deline and Chuck "Shredder" Saso, both of whom played guitar. Yes, it took the combined powers of two men to even approach replacing me.
So here's a picture, taken by my man David Yip, to prove that this isn't just an elaborate hoax.
This is Andy taking off his boots, the better to beat the hell out of the drum kit. Sort of like a fifties dad taking off his belt to teach junior a lesson. The drums held hands and told themselves that it would all be over soon.
Here's another picture.
This is Matt and I competing to see who can feel the most powerful emotion. Brian is in the background trying to remember which note the song starts with.
Things were going great. Then my amp started belching out bad vibrations. Really loud, bad vibrations. Matt looked at me with a look that said "the nuclear reactor is going to blow" or maybe "hey dumbass, your guitar never sounded like a guitar anyways, but this is ridiculous - turn off whatever pedal that is". Woops. Turns out one of us managed to step on just the right cord and disconnected it. BUT THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL. Just play cable hum, man, just do it, as long as you can feel what the song is about. So I turned off the amp, real quick. Problem solved.
The show rocked on. The people seemed to be digging it. Chuck almost lost his place during a blistering solo when a bra came flying at him. It rested on his shoulder for the duration of the song, but he didn't miss a note. A real pro. Here he is:
This picture was taken only seconds before some jackanape cracked wise about playing Freebird. Chuck effortlessly extinguished a cigarette in the middle of the guy's face and told him to head back to Alabama. He left, but his girlfriend stayed behind and got a little friendlier. When the police arrived later we stuck to our stories and didn't give anything away. It wasn't a big deal.
Here's Brian and Chuck and some blurry guy:
Brian is still trying to remember if the note he's looking for is E or G. He figured it out later, though. Chuck is trying to figure out the best way to dispose of a corpse. He figured that out later, too.
Because we are lazy we decided to give oursleves a bit of a rest by including an intermission in our set. Yes that's right, seven songs requires an intermission. We played those songs hard, believe it. Anyways, we entertained questions from the audience - from our handy question box (it was a great coincidence that we had a question box and little cards on hand; god works in mysterious ways). Members of the audience asked very salacious things, and we did our best to satisfy their curiousity while preserving our dignity. We failed.
This is me being a cut-up, and killing time, precious time. I think we managed to stretch seven songs into something like an hour long performance, somehow.
Here's another stunning snapshot, of Andy pointing to a groupie that he had security bring onto the stage.
And finally, here's Matt having a chuckle:
He had just thought of a funny limerick, the punchline of which he forgot after the show, unfortunately. Art comes not without sacrifice.
And that was that! The smoke machine worked just as it should have, the lasers were great (came on a little too early, but what can you do?), and the cage dancers really added something powerful and expressive. As far as we were concerned the audience loved it, which is why we didn't ask them if this was true. We're happy with our illusions.
TEMOS live. One night only. An exclusive happening in the heart of our fair city. A venture only for the bold and enterprising. If you were there you will know these words to be true, and furthermore you will say: "please, just one more song".
Our reply: "no".
For those of you not in the know (for shame) the big show doubled as a CD release party, and we played (almost) the whole of the album. So we started with the hot new song "Pet Allergy" and it went...
Well! Can you believe it? We actually played it correctly. Chorus where the chorus goes. Solo here. Head banging here. Massive drum fill - all toms - right here. It all came together, and it was evident, at least to me, that we were NOT, in fact, going to embarass ourselves in front of all of our friends. Yes! We were lucky enough to be joined by our pals Matt "Matt" Deline and Chuck "Shredder" Saso, both of whom played guitar. Yes, it took the combined powers of two men to even approach replacing me.
So here's a picture, taken by my man David Yip, to prove that this isn't just an elaborate hoax.
This is Andy taking off his boots, the better to beat the hell out of the drum kit. Sort of like a fifties dad taking off his belt to teach junior a lesson. The drums held hands and told themselves that it would all be over soon.
Here's another picture.
This is Matt and I competing to see who can feel the most powerful emotion. Brian is in the background trying to remember which note the song starts with.
Things were going great. Then my amp started belching out bad vibrations. Really loud, bad vibrations. Matt looked at me with a look that said "the nuclear reactor is going to blow" or maybe "hey dumbass, your guitar never sounded like a guitar anyways, but this is ridiculous - turn off whatever pedal that is". Woops. Turns out one of us managed to step on just the right cord and disconnected it. BUT THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL. Just play cable hum, man, just do it, as long as you can feel what the song is about. So I turned off the amp, real quick. Problem solved.
The show rocked on. The people seemed to be digging it. Chuck almost lost his place during a blistering solo when a bra came flying at him. It rested on his shoulder for the duration of the song, but he didn't miss a note. A real pro. Here he is:
This picture was taken only seconds before some jackanape cracked wise about playing Freebird. Chuck effortlessly extinguished a cigarette in the middle of the guy's face and told him to head back to Alabama. He left, but his girlfriend stayed behind and got a little friendlier. When the police arrived later we stuck to our stories and didn't give anything away. It wasn't a big deal.
Here's Brian and Chuck and some blurry guy:
Brian is still trying to remember if the note he's looking for is E or G. He figured it out later, though. Chuck is trying to figure out the best way to dispose of a corpse. He figured that out later, too.
Because we are lazy we decided to give oursleves a bit of a rest by including an intermission in our set. Yes that's right, seven songs requires an intermission. We played those songs hard, believe it. Anyways, we entertained questions from the audience - from our handy question box (it was a great coincidence that we had a question box and little cards on hand; god works in mysterious ways). Members of the audience asked very salacious things, and we did our best to satisfy their curiousity while preserving our dignity. We failed.
This is me being a cut-up, and killing time, precious time. I think we managed to stretch seven songs into something like an hour long performance, somehow.
Here's another stunning snapshot, of Andy pointing to a groupie that he had security bring onto the stage.
And finally, here's Matt having a chuckle:
He had just thought of a funny limerick, the punchline of which he forgot after the show, unfortunately. Art comes not without sacrifice.
And that was that! The smoke machine worked just as it should have, the lasers were great (came on a little too early, but what can you do?), and the cage dancers really added something powerful and expressive. As far as we were concerned the audience loved it, which is why we didn't ask them if this was true. We're happy with our illusions.
TEMOS live. One night only. An exclusive happening in the heart of our fair city. A venture only for the bold and enterprising. If you were there you will know these words to be true, and furthermore you will say: "please, just one more song".
Our reply: "no".
Photographic Evidence
Shane Whitbread does his thing, opening for Touching Earth Made Of Steel.
And Male Nurse does likewise.
Photos by Dirty David Yip. Email him, if you want, at dvd.yip@gmail.com
And Male Nurse does likewise.
Photos by Dirty David Yip. Email him, if you want, at dvd.yip@gmail.com
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Good News Is: You're Going To Live (or) Songs Of Conditional Losses
Here it is, freshly christened...
Want to know where this picture was taken? Comment and I'll tell you...
Want to know where this picture was taken? Comment and I'll tell you...
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Veni, Vidi, Vici
TEMOS live. It happened. Last weekend. And it was awesome. First up, a huge thank you to every single person who showed up - we truly appreciate you coming out, and if you had even half as much fun as we did then it was well worth it. Thank you! Next we must extend our thanks to Raw Sugar for hosting us. We owe you a huge debt. Merci.
So how was it? Well! At seven o'clock we'd moved some tables around and started setting up. For those of you who haven't performed in a rock and roll outfit, 95% of "setting up" involves messing with the vocal mics. Louder. Louder. Feedback. Woops. Quieter. Louder. Repeat for as much time as you have available for setting up. While doing this Andy and Matt decided to "test" the mics by yelling and throat singing into them as loudly as possible. It was at this exact moment that two very nice, middle aged ladies wandered in, looking lost.
"Oh, we heard about your cafe in the newspaper..." confusion. Fear of catching a disease.
Me: "ahhh, yes, it's an excellent cafe, the best in town. But tonight there's a rock show, do you ladies want to rock out with us?"
"Hmm. Maybe not today." they leave. Nadia, I'm sorry. I told them to come back on Sunday afternoon and I guaranteed them that there would be no rocking whatsoever. Don't have made a liar of me.
So we tried a song out, and discovered that one of the speakers was shorting out pretty consistently. Nice. We attempted to fix it, but failed miserably. This would haunt us later.
So people congregated, and before we knew it there were WAY more than the thirteen people we'd been expecting.
First off Shane Whitbread got things started with an ambient guitar set. It was excellent, and a mighty fine way to start things off. Some people stared, enchanted. Others went on with their business - negotiating multi-million dollar deals and such. This is as it should be, for you see ambient music is meant to be just that. Shane did it up proper.
Visit Shane here.
Next up was Male Nurse. He whipped up a floor stomping fury and entertained to no end. He was so into the thing, so caught up in the life that is rock and roll that he SHATTERED a guitar string. These things are made of coiled steel; it takes great strength to destroy them. Unfortunately I panicked and handed him my guitar as a replacement, forgetting that my guitar is set up rather insanely. Woops. Nonetheless, he also did a fantastic job, and pleased the crowd. He also let the feline out of its sack, in that he revealed the true origin of TEMOS's name. That anyone even knew is astounding! Well done, sir.
Visit Male Nurse here. And check out his highly ambitious song-a-day project here.
A huuuuuge thanks to both Shane and Davey for playing - you both made the night a success, and on little notice, with no thought of politcal gain. Yes!
I enjoyed both openers a whole lot, but when they were through the moment of truth arrived... there was no escaping the inescapable fact of being on. Next.
So how was it? Well! At seven o'clock we'd moved some tables around and started setting up. For those of you who haven't performed in a rock and roll outfit, 95% of "setting up" involves messing with the vocal mics. Louder. Louder. Feedback. Woops. Quieter. Louder. Repeat for as much time as you have available for setting up. While doing this Andy and Matt decided to "test" the mics by yelling and throat singing into them as loudly as possible. It was at this exact moment that two very nice, middle aged ladies wandered in, looking lost.
"Oh, we heard about your cafe in the newspaper..." confusion. Fear of catching a disease.
Me: "ahhh, yes, it's an excellent cafe, the best in town. But tonight there's a rock show, do you ladies want to rock out with us?"
"Hmm. Maybe not today." they leave. Nadia, I'm sorry. I told them to come back on Sunday afternoon and I guaranteed them that there would be no rocking whatsoever. Don't have made a liar of me.
So we tried a song out, and discovered that one of the speakers was shorting out pretty consistently. Nice. We attempted to fix it, but failed miserably. This would haunt us later.
So people congregated, and before we knew it there were WAY more than the thirteen people we'd been expecting.
First off Shane Whitbread got things started with an ambient guitar set. It was excellent, and a mighty fine way to start things off. Some people stared, enchanted. Others went on with their business - negotiating multi-million dollar deals and such. This is as it should be, for you see ambient music is meant to be just that. Shane did it up proper.
Visit Shane here.
Next up was Male Nurse. He whipped up a floor stomping fury and entertained to no end. He was so into the thing, so caught up in the life that is rock and roll that he SHATTERED a guitar string. These things are made of coiled steel; it takes great strength to destroy them. Unfortunately I panicked and handed him my guitar as a replacement, forgetting that my guitar is set up rather insanely. Woops. Nonetheless, he also did a fantastic job, and pleased the crowd. He also let the feline out of its sack, in that he revealed the true origin of TEMOS's name. That anyone even knew is astounding! Well done, sir.
Visit Male Nurse here. And check out his highly ambitious song-a-day project here.
A huuuuuge thanks to both Shane and Davey for playing - you both made the night a success, and on little notice, with no thought of politcal gain. Yes!
I enjoyed both openers a whole lot, but when they were through the moment of truth arrived... there was no escaping the inescapable fact of being on. Next.
Friday, April 23, 2010
24 hours to go...
So I just got back from Andy's basement. Practice. With the fellows. But not just any practice: the last practice before the show tomorrow.
So what is the mood in the room like? One might expect a torrent of nerves, anxiety, and fear. But it was in fact quite the opposite. We played through the whole set, screwed up some things, had a laugh, played through a couple of songs again, and packed it in. We spent some time trying to coax Brian into making a solo album about wizards and magic. He's starting to cave. Merlin is a big source of inspiration for him. So the crew is feeling loose. Ready. Eager, even.
On the way home I stopped by the venue: Raw Sugar Cafe. Talked to Nadia. She's ready. She's even going to have some lemon poppyseed cake ready for me, which is very important.
Upon arriving at home I took in the splendour that is the costumes, and the set decor, created by Katie Dutton. We'll surely post some pictures here, but you're going to dig it, to be sure.
All of this is to say: we are ready. This one will go down in Ottawa lore, one way or another...
And don't forget! There will be all sorts of CDs available for sale, so bring some MONEY. Can't wait! Hope to see you there.
So what is the mood in the room like? One might expect a torrent of nerves, anxiety, and fear. But it was in fact quite the opposite. We played through the whole set, screwed up some things, had a laugh, played through a couple of songs again, and packed it in. We spent some time trying to coax Brian into making a solo album about wizards and magic. He's starting to cave. Merlin is a big source of inspiration for him. So the crew is feeling loose. Ready. Eager, even.
On the way home I stopped by the venue: Raw Sugar Cafe. Talked to Nadia. She's ready. She's even going to have some lemon poppyseed cake ready for me, which is very important.
Upon arriving at home I took in the splendour that is the costumes, and the set decor, created by Katie Dutton. We'll surely post some pictures here, but you're going to dig it, to be sure.
All of this is to say: we are ready. This one will go down in Ottawa lore, one way or another...
And don't forget! There will be all sorts of CDs available for sale, so bring some MONEY. Can't wait! Hope to see you there.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
T minus two days
Oh baby... Saturday is almost here, that fateful day when TEMOS rocks Ottawa to its very foundations. We just got the CDs back from the manufacturer, and spent a fun night of cutting and folding covers. Carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes. It's done. And everyone who attends the show gets a copy; isn't that how a CD release show should be? Yes it is.
In spite of a few last minute hitches we are very much ready. Our very last practice will be tomorrow night, and then: into the breach!! Those who attend will not be sorry. Those who miss it will be sorry and then some. We very much hope to see you there.
In spite of a few last minute hitches we are very much ready. Our very last practice will be tomorrow night, and then: into the breach!! Those who attend will not be sorry. Those who miss it will be sorry and then some. We very much hope to see you there.
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