Howdy friends. We should apologize for not checking in sooner, but in truth, we had little to say. Little to say, that is, until last night. After our one and only live performance we took a bit of a breather, to regroup and recharge. But woe to anyone who mistook this brief hiatus for any sort of loss of steam on our part. Far from! Last night we finally got back together, chatted a bit, ate some pizza, and then got down to the business at hand...
We have begun a new album. And it's going to be rather crazy (no surprise there, right?). Last night we recorded the better part of the first song and it's shaping up verrrrry nicely. No word yet on the theme - of course there will be one - or anything else, but you can be sure that you'll love it.
In other news, we finally did some Touching Money Made Of Accounting last night and reconciled the books. This was extremely funny. We've had a wad of cash sitting in a mug at my place for years now and we at last got around to paying ourselves back for various expenses from the last two records and running our fingers through our massive profits. This exercise reinforced the fact that we are possibly the worst businessmen on earth, and if you have ever entertained any worry that maybe we're just in it for the money we can conclusively disprove this idea. Yes, after paying for printing, CD manufacturing, bribes for our session players, hush money for groupies, et cetera we hit upon the total.
Our last two albums have netted us total profits of... $37. There aren't a lot of bands who can move a couple hundred albums and make 37 bucks, but we managed it. Take that music industry!
My plan to quit my job and move to Fiji has been conclusively dashed. For now.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Rest of The Story
Well the ashes are smouldering now, but once it was a raging fire. The TEMOS live show, you see, it's a metaphor, not an arson. The appointed time arrived and we took our places. First we ripped off our shirts and threw on our custom-made TEMOS shirts (thanks Katie). I posed a bit, flexed a bit, generally intimidated the male section of the crowd (with an equal, but decidly more seductive effect on the female contingent). Then we flipped the switches and all systems were go. Flash bulbs. The crowd roared like a sea monster. Screams. Scallen, bopping his head. Yes, we had done it.
For those of you not in the know (for shame) the big show doubled as a CD release party, and we played (almost) the whole of the album. So we started with the hot new song "Pet Allergy" and it went...
Well! Can you believe it? We actually played it correctly. Chorus where the chorus goes. Solo here. Head banging here. Massive drum fill - all toms - right here. It all came together, and it was evident, at least to me, that we were NOT, in fact, going to embarass ourselves in front of all of our friends. Yes! We were lucky enough to be joined by our pals Matt "Matt" Deline and Chuck "Shredder" Saso, both of whom played guitar. Yes, it took the combined powers of two men to even approach replacing me.
So here's a picture, taken by my man David Yip, to prove that this isn't just an elaborate hoax.
This is Andy taking off his boots, the better to beat the hell out of the drum kit. Sort of like a fifties dad taking off his belt to teach junior a lesson. The drums held hands and told themselves that it would all be over soon.
Here's another picture.
This is Matt and I competing to see who can feel the most powerful emotion. Brian is in the background trying to remember which note the song starts with.
Things were going great. Then my amp started belching out bad vibrations. Really loud, bad vibrations. Matt looked at me with a look that said "the nuclear reactor is going to blow" or maybe "hey dumbass, your guitar never sounded like a guitar anyways, but this is ridiculous - turn off whatever pedal that is". Woops. Turns out one of us managed to step on just the right cord and disconnected it. BUT THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL. Just play cable hum, man, just do it, as long as you can feel what the song is about. So I turned off the amp, real quick. Problem solved.
The show rocked on. The people seemed to be digging it. Chuck almost lost his place during a blistering solo when a bra came flying at him. It rested on his shoulder for the duration of the song, but he didn't miss a note. A real pro. Here he is:
This picture was taken only seconds before some jackanape cracked wise about playing Freebird. Chuck effortlessly extinguished a cigarette in the middle of the guy's face and told him to head back to Alabama. He left, but his girlfriend stayed behind and got a little friendlier. When the police arrived later we stuck to our stories and didn't give anything away. It wasn't a big deal.
Here's Brian and Chuck and some blurry guy:
Brian is still trying to remember if the note he's looking for is E or G. He figured it out later, though. Chuck is trying to figure out the best way to dispose of a corpse. He figured that out later, too.
Because we are lazy we decided to give oursleves a bit of a rest by including an intermission in our set. Yes that's right, seven songs requires an intermission. We played those songs hard, believe it. Anyways, we entertained questions from the audience - from our handy question box (it was a great coincidence that we had a question box and little cards on hand; god works in mysterious ways). Members of the audience asked very salacious things, and we did our best to satisfy their curiousity while preserving our dignity. We failed.
This is me being a cut-up, and killing time, precious time. I think we managed to stretch seven songs into something like an hour long performance, somehow.
Here's another stunning snapshot, of Andy pointing to a groupie that he had security bring onto the stage.
And finally, here's Matt having a chuckle:
He had just thought of a funny limerick, the punchline of which he forgot after the show, unfortunately. Art comes not without sacrifice.
And that was that! The smoke machine worked just as it should have, the lasers were great (came on a little too early, but what can you do?), and the cage dancers really added something powerful and expressive. As far as we were concerned the audience loved it, which is why we didn't ask them if this was true. We're happy with our illusions.
TEMOS live. One night only. An exclusive happening in the heart of our fair city. A venture only for the bold and enterprising. If you were there you will know these words to be true, and furthermore you will say: "please, just one more song".
Our reply: "no".
For those of you not in the know (for shame) the big show doubled as a CD release party, and we played (almost) the whole of the album. So we started with the hot new song "Pet Allergy" and it went...
Well! Can you believe it? We actually played it correctly. Chorus where the chorus goes. Solo here. Head banging here. Massive drum fill - all toms - right here. It all came together, and it was evident, at least to me, that we were NOT, in fact, going to embarass ourselves in front of all of our friends. Yes! We were lucky enough to be joined by our pals Matt "Matt" Deline and Chuck "Shredder" Saso, both of whom played guitar. Yes, it took the combined powers of two men to even approach replacing me.
So here's a picture, taken by my man David Yip, to prove that this isn't just an elaborate hoax.
This is Andy taking off his boots, the better to beat the hell out of the drum kit. Sort of like a fifties dad taking off his belt to teach junior a lesson. The drums held hands and told themselves that it would all be over soon.
Here's another picture.
This is Matt and I competing to see who can feel the most powerful emotion. Brian is in the background trying to remember which note the song starts with.
Things were going great. Then my amp started belching out bad vibrations. Really loud, bad vibrations. Matt looked at me with a look that said "the nuclear reactor is going to blow" or maybe "hey dumbass, your guitar never sounded like a guitar anyways, but this is ridiculous - turn off whatever pedal that is". Woops. Turns out one of us managed to step on just the right cord and disconnected it. BUT THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL. Just play cable hum, man, just do it, as long as you can feel what the song is about. So I turned off the amp, real quick. Problem solved.
The show rocked on. The people seemed to be digging it. Chuck almost lost his place during a blistering solo when a bra came flying at him. It rested on his shoulder for the duration of the song, but he didn't miss a note. A real pro. Here he is:
This picture was taken only seconds before some jackanape cracked wise about playing Freebird. Chuck effortlessly extinguished a cigarette in the middle of the guy's face and told him to head back to Alabama. He left, but his girlfriend stayed behind and got a little friendlier. When the police arrived later we stuck to our stories and didn't give anything away. It wasn't a big deal.
Here's Brian and Chuck and some blurry guy:
Brian is still trying to remember if the note he's looking for is E or G. He figured it out later, though. Chuck is trying to figure out the best way to dispose of a corpse. He figured that out later, too.
Because we are lazy we decided to give oursleves a bit of a rest by including an intermission in our set. Yes that's right, seven songs requires an intermission. We played those songs hard, believe it. Anyways, we entertained questions from the audience - from our handy question box (it was a great coincidence that we had a question box and little cards on hand; god works in mysterious ways). Members of the audience asked very salacious things, and we did our best to satisfy their curiousity while preserving our dignity. We failed.
This is me being a cut-up, and killing time, precious time. I think we managed to stretch seven songs into something like an hour long performance, somehow.
Here's another stunning snapshot, of Andy pointing to a groupie that he had security bring onto the stage.
And finally, here's Matt having a chuckle:
He had just thought of a funny limerick, the punchline of which he forgot after the show, unfortunately. Art comes not without sacrifice.
And that was that! The smoke machine worked just as it should have, the lasers were great (came on a little too early, but what can you do?), and the cage dancers really added something powerful and expressive. As far as we were concerned the audience loved it, which is why we didn't ask them if this was true. We're happy with our illusions.
TEMOS live. One night only. An exclusive happening in the heart of our fair city. A venture only for the bold and enterprising. If you were there you will know these words to be true, and furthermore you will say: "please, just one more song".
Our reply: "no".
Photographic Evidence
Shane Whitbread does his thing, opening for Touching Earth Made Of Steel.
And Male Nurse does likewise.
Photos by Dirty David Yip. Email him, if you want, at dvd.yip@gmail.com
And Male Nurse does likewise.
Photos by Dirty David Yip. Email him, if you want, at dvd.yip@gmail.com
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Good News Is: You're Going To Live (or) Songs Of Conditional Losses
Here it is, freshly christened...
Want to know where this picture was taken? Comment and I'll tell you...
Want to know where this picture was taken? Comment and I'll tell you...
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Veni, Vidi, Vici
TEMOS live. It happened. Last weekend. And it was awesome. First up, a huge thank you to every single person who showed up - we truly appreciate you coming out, and if you had even half as much fun as we did then it was well worth it. Thank you! Next we must extend our thanks to Raw Sugar for hosting us. We owe you a huge debt. Merci.
So how was it? Well! At seven o'clock we'd moved some tables around and started setting up. For those of you who haven't performed in a rock and roll outfit, 95% of "setting up" involves messing with the vocal mics. Louder. Louder. Feedback. Woops. Quieter. Louder. Repeat for as much time as you have available for setting up. While doing this Andy and Matt decided to "test" the mics by yelling and throat singing into them as loudly as possible. It was at this exact moment that two very nice, middle aged ladies wandered in, looking lost.
"Oh, we heard about your cafe in the newspaper..." confusion. Fear of catching a disease.
Me: "ahhh, yes, it's an excellent cafe, the best in town. But tonight there's a rock show, do you ladies want to rock out with us?"
"Hmm. Maybe not today." they leave. Nadia, I'm sorry. I told them to come back on Sunday afternoon and I guaranteed them that there would be no rocking whatsoever. Don't have made a liar of me.
So we tried a song out, and discovered that one of the speakers was shorting out pretty consistently. Nice. We attempted to fix it, but failed miserably. This would haunt us later.
So people congregated, and before we knew it there were WAY more than the thirteen people we'd been expecting.
First off Shane Whitbread got things started with an ambient guitar set. It was excellent, and a mighty fine way to start things off. Some people stared, enchanted. Others went on with their business - negotiating multi-million dollar deals and such. This is as it should be, for you see ambient music is meant to be just that. Shane did it up proper.
Visit Shane here.
Next up was Male Nurse. He whipped up a floor stomping fury and entertained to no end. He was so into the thing, so caught up in the life that is rock and roll that he SHATTERED a guitar string. These things are made of coiled steel; it takes great strength to destroy them. Unfortunately I panicked and handed him my guitar as a replacement, forgetting that my guitar is set up rather insanely. Woops. Nonetheless, he also did a fantastic job, and pleased the crowd. He also let the feline out of its sack, in that he revealed the true origin of TEMOS's name. That anyone even knew is astounding! Well done, sir.
Visit Male Nurse here. And check out his highly ambitious song-a-day project here.
A huuuuuge thanks to both Shane and Davey for playing - you both made the night a success, and on little notice, with no thought of politcal gain. Yes!
I enjoyed both openers a whole lot, but when they were through the moment of truth arrived... there was no escaping the inescapable fact of being on. Next.
So how was it? Well! At seven o'clock we'd moved some tables around and started setting up. For those of you who haven't performed in a rock and roll outfit, 95% of "setting up" involves messing with the vocal mics. Louder. Louder. Feedback. Woops. Quieter. Louder. Repeat for as much time as you have available for setting up. While doing this Andy and Matt decided to "test" the mics by yelling and throat singing into them as loudly as possible. It was at this exact moment that two very nice, middle aged ladies wandered in, looking lost.
"Oh, we heard about your cafe in the newspaper..." confusion. Fear of catching a disease.
Me: "ahhh, yes, it's an excellent cafe, the best in town. But tonight there's a rock show, do you ladies want to rock out with us?"
"Hmm. Maybe not today." they leave. Nadia, I'm sorry. I told them to come back on Sunday afternoon and I guaranteed them that there would be no rocking whatsoever. Don't have made a liar of me.
So we tried a song out, and discovered that one of the speakers was shorting out pretty consistently. Nice. We attempted to fix it, but failed miserably. This would haunt us later.
So people congregated, and before we knew it there were WAY more than the thirteen people we'd been expecting.
First off Shane Whitbread got things started with an ambient guitar set. It was excellent, and a mighty fine way to start things off. Some people stared, enchanted. Others went on with their business - negotiating multi-million dollar deals and such. This is as it should be, for you see ambient music is meant to be just that. Shane did it up proper.
Visit Shane here.
Next up was Male Nurse. He whipped up a floor stomping fury and entertained to no end. He was so into the thing, so caught up in the life that is rock and roll that he SHATTERED a guitar string. These things are made of coiled steel; it takes great strength to destroy them. Unfortunately I panicked and handed him my guitar as a replacement, forgetting that my guitar is set up rather insanely. Woops. Nonetheless, he also did a fantastic job, and pleased the crowd. He also let the feline out of its sack, in that he revealed the true origin of TEMOS's name. That anyone even knew is astounding! Well done, sir.
Visit Male Nurse here. And check out his highly ambitious song-a-day project here.
A huuuuuge thanks to both Shane and Davey for playing - you both made the night a success, and on little notice, with no thought of politcal gain. Yes!
I enjoyed both openers a whole lot, but when they were through the moment of truth arrived... there was no escaping the inescapable fact of being on. Next.
Friday, April 23, 2010
24 hours to go...
So I just got back from Andy's basement. Practice. With the fellows. But not just any practice: the last practice before the show tomorrow.
So what is the mood in the room like? One might expect a torrent of nerves, anxiety, and fear. But it was in fact quite the opposite. We played through the whole set, screwed up some things, had a laugh, played through a couple of songs again, and packed it in. We spent some time trying to coax Brian into making a solo album about wizards and magic. He's starting to cave. Merlin is a big source of inspiration for him. So the crew is feeling loose. Ready. Eager, even.
On the way home I stopped by the venue: Raw Sugar Cafe. Talked to Nadia. She's ready. She's even going to have some lemon poppyseed cake ready for me, which is very important.
Upon arriving at home I took in the splendour that is the costumes, and the set decor, created by Katie Dutton. We'll surely post some pictures here, but you're going to dig it, to be sure.
All of this is to say: we are ready. This one will go down in Ottawa lore, one way or another...
And don't forget! There will be all sorts of CDs available for sale, so bring some MONEY. Can't wait! Hope to see you there.
So what is the mood in the room like? One might expect a torrent of nerves, anxiety, and fear. But it was in fact quite the opposite. We played through the whole set, screwed up some things, had a laugh, played through a couple of songs again, and packed it in. We spent some time trying to coax Brian into making a solo album about wizards and magic. He's starting to cave. Merlin is a big source of inspiration for him. So the crew is feeling loose. Ready. Eager, even.
On the way home I stopped by the venue: Raw Sugar Cafe. Talked to Nadia. She's ready. She's even going to have some lemon poppyseed cake ready for me, which is very important.
Upon arriving at home I took in the splendour that is the costumes, and the set decor, created by Katie Dutton. We'll surely post some pictures here, but you're going to dig it, to be sure.
All of this is to say: we are ready. This one will go down in Ottawa lore, one way or another...
And don't forget! There will be all sorts of CDs available for sale, so bring some MONEY. Can't wait! Hope to see you there.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
T minus two days
Oh baby... Saturday is almost here, that fateful day when TEMOS rocks Ottawa to its very foundations. We just got the CDs back from the manufacturer, and spent a fun night of cutting and folding covers. Carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes. It's done. And everyone who attends the show gets a copy; isn't that how a CD release show should be? Yes it is.
In spite of a few last minute hitches we are very much ready. Our very last practice will be tomorrow night, and then: into the breach!! Those who attend will not be sorry. Those who miss it will be sorry and then some. We very much hope to see you there.
In spite of a few last minute hitches we are very much ready. Our very last practice will be tomorrow night, and then: into the breach!! Those who attend will not be sorry. Those who miss it will be sorry and then some. We very much hope to see you there.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
TEMOS in Concert!!
Finally, after endless false starts and gnashing of teeth, the dream of millions will be realized... A black president? Old hat. No, this is truly revolutionary: TEMOS live. For real.
We're putting out a new album very soon. We're having a little do to kick it off right. We're going to play the album live, from stem to stern (if we can figure out all the songs; no safe bet). Oh YES!! Here's the deal: you pay eight dollars and you get to see the show, you get a copy of the new album, and you get meet the band afterward. Wow.
This shall be done on April 24th at Raw Sugar Cafe, in Chinatown. You really, really, really don't want to miss this, as it may quite truthfully never happen again. Also - if you hate our guts this is the perfect time to throw rotten food at us and steal our girlfriends, to teach us a lesson. See you there!
We're putting out a new album very soon. We're having a little do to kick it off right. We're going to play the album live, from stem to stern (if we can figure out all the songs; no safe bet). Oh YES!! Here's the deal: you pay eight dollars and you get to see the show, you get a copy of the new album, and you get meet the band afterward. Wow.
This shall be done on April 24th at Raw Sugar Cafe, in Chinatown. You really, really, really don't want to miss this, as it may quite truthfully never happen again. Also - if you hate our guts this is the perfect time to throw rotten food at us and steal our girlfriends, to teach us a lesson. See you there!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Hosers In All Their Glory
Hosers around the nation took to the streets tonight to celebrate the only Olympic medal that matters: men's hockey. Oh it was a beauty and then some. I'll admit, when the States tied it up late I was rattled. And! I even went so far as to say that Crosby was choking. Woops...
So, here for your amusement, are some shots from Ottawa's Elgin Street and Parliament Hill. After every major hockey victory it's the place to be. Yes, it has nothing to do with TEMOS, but hey, why not?
The scene on Parliament Hill. Revellers crowd around the centennial flame.
Hosers dole out high-fives to people in cars on Elgin.
Dudes in the Canadamobile feel the love.
Germany is defeated! The war is over!
So, here for your amusement, are some shots from Ottawa's Elgin Street and Parliament Hill. After every major hockey victory it's the place to be. Yes, it has nothing to do with TEMOS, but hey, why not?
The scene on Parliament Hill. Revellers crowd around the centennial flame.
Hosers dole out high-fives to people in cars on Elgin.
Dudes in the Canadamobile feel the love.
Germany is defeated! The war is over!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Dear Miley: you're welcome / we're sorry
Hello again friends. So by now our most obsessive fans have already learned of the great crime against good taste that we recently committed: the "cover" of Miley Cyrus' "Party In The USA". Here's how it came to be.
So the good folks at cokemachineglow reviewed The Carl Wilson Lake Mystery a few months back, setting into motion the events that would force us to go into hiding and hire reasonably convincing doubles to distract screaming teenaged girls while we went about our lives. Then those same good folks came to us with a proposition: the inclusion of one of our songs in a podcast they were putting out in the new year. The only catch: the song would have to be a cover, and a cover of something from 2009 (a rule which later changed, hanging us out to dry hugely). We happily and hastily accepted but then hit upon the horrifying realization that not one of us could think of a single song, worthy or not, from the past year, with the exception of a Wild Beasts tune that was far too good and complicated for the week and a half we had to complete the task. Panic began to set in.
But then Andy dug deep into his bag of tricks and called upon friends and family who know things about pop music. We reconvened and spent a half hour watching youtube videos of hit songs that not one of us had ever heard before. As soon as Party In The USA came on we knew we'd found our muse. First: musically it is about the simplest, easiest song in the world, which appealed to our laziness. Second: it is quite possibly the stupidest song ever written. Shaking my hips, like, yeah! Ridiculous. We'd hit the jackpot.
Within seconds Brian had sort of figured out the guitar riff (good enough!) and I'd sort of figured out the bass (good enough!) and we started laying it down. Yes. No problems at all. But then came the horrible part... the singing. Now singing those terrible words is bad enough, but I was forced to subject myself to a much more acute torture. For, never having heard the song before, I had to actually listen to it, to figure out how it went. So there I was, alone in a dark room, for hours, watching that cursed video over and over and over again, feeling like a major league degenerate / pedophile. Miley is on the hood of a car. Miley is not wearing much. The camera lingers on Miley's backside. The camera lingers on Miley's chest. Young girls everywhere feel "empowered" or some crap. I was thoroughly assaulted by what everyone already knows: Miley is very young. Miley likes to jiggle around. Great. The whole experience made me feel old and sad.
However, there is an excellent tonic for this: the world of Daniel Johnston. I had to fight the effects of Miley, so I wound up listening to a certain Johnston tune. It infected my mind. Then, when I went back to the studio to finish the singing, I hit upon a glorious realization: that this particular Daniel Johnston tune and Miley's monstrosity fit together like eggs and bacon. And there you have it. Pay attention and you'll hear it for sure.
So you want to hear it? Go here. Or here. Or here.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Touching What? Made of What?
Our band has a strange name. It's true. So how did it come to be? Listen up, and we will tell you.
We never intended to pick a weird name or anything else. In fact, we never really had any intentions with respect to a name at all. After Andy returned from the cult and we started recording in my attic we realized that we needed a name. For the uninitiated choosing a band name can be EXCRUCIATING under the wrong circumstances. It goes like this:
SINGER: What about (adjective) (noun)?
BASSIST: Yeah, maybe. It's a little too (abstract OR concrete).
DRUMMER: Maybe (noun)?
No one says anything.
Fill in the dialogue with the following...
NOUNS
Academy, Minister, Shotguns, Pretzel, Cavemen
ADJECTIVES
Poisoned, Sacred, Wild, Electric, Drowning
You get the idea! In some cases the process of deciding on a name can take weeks or even months, as a band temporarily goes with "Electric Academy" until something better comes along. I haven't yet googled it, but I bet there really is a band called that...
Well! In true TEMOS fashion we didn't have time for that noise. Oh no. You see folks, when it comes to decision making we don't screw around. We often don't even talk about the question at hand, we just pick a direction and go there. This makes working together very easy, and makes our tunes a bit odd. Perhaps you've noticed. Anyways, we devised an excellent scheme to get us a name pronto: a tournament! Yup, a 32 name, single-elimination tournament. We sat down and wrote up 32 possible band names on the spot, and then paired them off. Then we voted on them. The system worked like this: we three sat on chairs in my kitchen, facing a wall, with our hands behind our backs. My ladyfriend read out a pair of names, and each band member flashed one or two fingers, indicating his choice, but invisible to the other guys. Katie tallied the votes, and the loser was eliminated. Voila! Perfectly simple. Unfortunately we can't remember any of the rejected names, except "Duck Soup" which would have been... great? No.
However, this little tournament ended with no small measure of controversy. For you see, the very final matchup, for all the marbles, was TEMOS vs. Ptarmigan. And? Ptarmigan won! Yes, that was our name. For two days. I confess: I voted for Ptarmigan. I don't know who else did. But shortly thereafter the other guys grew uneasy. We'd made a mistake. TEMOS was just so much better, so much more us. And so Brian lobbied for a reversal of the tournament verdict. We all agreed, and there you have it.
Now where does TEMOS come from? It was Brian's idea, and it is a lyric from a song, by a legendary Ottawa band. Name the band and the song and you win a HUGE prize.
We never intended to pick a weird name or anything else. In fact, we never really had any intentions with respect to a name at all. After Andy returned from the cult and we started recording in my attic we realized that we needed a name. For the uninitiated choosing a band name can be EXCRUCIATING under the wrong circumstances. It goes like this:
SINGER: What about (adjective) (noun)?
BASSIST: Yeah, maybe. It's a little too (abstract OR concrete).
DRUMMER: Maybe (noun)?
No one says anything.
Fill in the dialogue with the following...
NOUNS
Academy, Minister, Shotguns, Pretzel, Cavemen
ADJECTIVES
Poisoned, Sacred, Wild, Electric, Drowning
You get the idea! In some cases the process of deciding on a name can take weeks or even months, as a band temporarily goes with "Electric Academy" until something better comes along. I haven't yet googled it, but I bet there really is a band called that...
Well! In true TEMOS fashion we didn't have time for that noise. Oh no. You see folks, when it comes to decision making we don't screw around. We often don't even talk about the question at hand, we just pick a direction and go there. This makes working together very easy, and makes our tunes a bit odd. Perhaps you've noticed. Anyways, we devised an excellent scheme to get us a name pronto: a tournament! Yup, a 32 name, single-elimination tournament. We sat down and wrote up 32 possible band names on the spot, and then paired them off. Then we voted on them. The system worked like this: we three sat on chairs in my kitchen, facing a wall, with our hands behind our backs. My ladyfriend read out a pair of names, and each band member flashed one or two fingers, indicating his choice, but invisible to the other guys. Katie tallied the votes, and the loser was eliminated. Voila! Perfectly simple. Unfortunately we can't remember any of the rejected names, except "Duck Soup" which would have been... great? No.
However, this little tournament ended with no small measure of controversy. For you see, the very final matchup, for all the marbles, was TEMOS vs. Ptarmigan. And? Ptarmigan won! Yes, that was our name. For two days. I confess: I voted for Ptarmigan. I don't know who else did. But shortly thereafter the other guys grew uneasy. We'd made a mistake. TEMOS was just so much better, so much more us. And so Brian lobbied for a reversal of the tournament verdict. We all agreed, and there you have it.
Now where does TEMOS come from? It was Brian's idea, and it is a lyric from a song, by a legendary Ottawa band. Name the band and the song and you win a HUGE prize.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Andy Joins A Cult
Today we rejoin a story in progress: the birth of Touching Earth Made Of Steel. Where we last left it the amazing New Spring Line was left in tear stained tatters. Bassist / drum programmer Andy Cant decided to pick up stakes and join a highly suspect agriculture-based cult. The cult was based out of Rainbow Glen Farm in a secret location somewhere in southwestern Ontario (they've since relocated; all efforts to track them down for comment on this article have met with failure). Ostensibly the purpose of the organization was to teach city folk how to survive a limited nuclear exchange by growing turnips and killing (if not raising) goats. This sounds fairly innocuous but when I dropped Andy off at the farm the barbed wire and armed sentry towers made me think that something else was going on.
He doesn't like to talk about the experience, but I have gleaned a few essential facts from him in the intervening years. First, he alternated between sleeping in a chicken coop and a hole that he dug in the ground for nicer nights. Second, after the chickens mysteriously died in one night he was forced, in punishment, to hatch the eggs they left behind, by laying on them 23 hours a day. He employed certain far-eastern techniques to distribute his weight and remain perfectly still, and had numerous visions during the ordeal. Third, he believes he was implanted with some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion that will enable the leader of the cult - a man known only as "Father" - to summon him back to the farm for some nefarious purpose or other. We are always playing the game of "guess the trigger word" but we haven't gotten it yet. Whenever the phone rings at Andy's house late at night he breaks into a cold sweat.
Fortunately, though, the time in the cult was short-lived. Andy's wife and I arranged an intervention whereby we infiltrated the compound, spirited him away, bound inside a pig carcass, and spent a month deprogramming him completely. Today he cannot grow any turnips at all. With him back in our nation's capital the three of us got to thinking that it was time to get back on the musical horse (primarily motivated by its therapeutic value, according to several noted psychologists). So we convened, tentatively at first, in my attic studio, and began wanking around. Soon enough we had the basis of a song, but as it turned out - and in spite of the fact that it was still just three of us, same as always - we had formed an entirely new band, doing something altogether different.
Next time - the origin of the name!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
TEMOS Postcard
Memories of hell in the rain, with broken comrades and not enough sausage. We camped on a barren island, huddled under a pair of hastily rigged tarps. Working with ruthless efficiency we killed the only living things left there, and burned them for warmth. Local indians still recount the event; it is impossible to discern how they really feel about it.
Part of a promotional assault we're unleashing on the unsuspecting citizens of Earth...
In the beginning...
If you've stumbled upon this little corner of the internet there's an excellent chance you knew what you were looking for. However! If you were looking for pornography and somehow ended up here by chance and would like to get oriented this post is for you.
Where did Touching Earth Made Of Steel Come From?
Touching Earth Made Of Steel began in 2004 I think? Something like that. I worked at Agriculture Canada at the time, and there met a dude named Jordan Himelfarb (one third of saidthegramophone - a music blog you might wish to check out) who was playing a show with his band The Cay at good old Bumpers on Bank Street in Ottawa. "No glitz, no glamour, just good times and good friends" was their slogan. Sure. Anyway, I performed under the moniker "Babies Don't Race" and did a droney atonal remix of The Cay's album with a computer and some synthesizers. It was not exactly a hit with the audience. However, when I was done a guy who'd been watching, whom I knew casually from the local record store, helped me pack up my stuff and then asked me if I had any interest in maybe playing with him and his friend sometime. For some unknown reason I said yes, and actually meant it. That guy was one Andy Cant.
Editor's Note
If you play music at all, if you even whistle a tune from time to time, someone whom you don't really know will eventually say to you: hey man, we should jam sometime. This is such a frequent occurrence that it must actually work more than one could ever realize. There are grave consequences if you accept these types of offers. The likely outcome: sitting around a junky basement "jamming" with some shady guys in too-tight shirts who won't look you in the eye. For the uninitiated, jamming of this type in fact amounts to someone playing a musical part that they pretend is "just something I made up" (really they've been imagining serenading beautiful women with the riff for months, the fantasy growing more detailed and intoxicating as time elapses) and everyone else not really paying attention and playing solos. It's awesome.
So I soon found myself in Andy's living room with him and his pal Brian Martin. Brian barely said a word. Since I'd been recruited on the strength of my electronic "music" I had brought a pair of Korg MS-10 synthesizers with me, paying no mind to the fact that I couldn't play two synthesizers at once. We screwed around for what seemed an eternity and made horrible music. Then I went home.
The strange part, though, is that some time shortly thereafter we did it again (this time I brought a guitar). And then again. And suddenly we were a band, of sorts. We were called The New Spring Line, and changed our name with the seasons. I played guitar (which I am barely capably of actually playing) as minimally as possible, Brian played guitar (which he can play, thank god), and Andy played bass (which he insists he cannot play, but the facts suggest a different conclusion) and programmed a crappy drum machine. No one sang.
Thanks to the endless pity of show promoters we managed to play a few shows, and I honestly have no idea if we were any good. Our friends and family were excellent actors. Nonetheless we had fun, and amassed something like a hundred bucks for pizza, as memory serves. But then disaster struck! Andy joined a cult.
In our next episode we will reveal the shocking conclusion!
- Jeremy
Where did Touching Earth Made Of Steel Come From?
Touching Earth Made Of Steel began in 2004 I think? Something like that. I worked at Agriculture Canada at the time, and there met a dude named Jordan Himelfarb (one third of saidthegramophone - a music blog you might wish to check out) who was playing a show with his band The Cay at good old Bumpers on Bank Street in Ottawa. "No glitz, no glamour, just good times and good friends" was their slogan. Sure. Anyway, I performed under the moniker "Babies Don't Race" and did a droney atonal remix of The Cay's album with a computer and some synthesizers. It was not exactly a hit with the audience. However, when I was done a guy who'd been watching, whom I knew casually from the local record store, helped me pack up my stuff and then asked me if I had any interest in maybe playing with him and his friend sometime. For some unknown reason I said yes, and actually meant it. That guy was one Andy Cant.
Editor's Note
If you play music at all, if you even whistle a tune from time to time, someone whom you don't really know will eventually say to you: hey man, we should jam sometime. This is such a frequent occurrence that it must actually work more than one could ever realize. There are grave consequences if you accept these types of offers. The likely outcome: sitting around a junky basement "jamming" with some shady guys in too-tight shirts who won't look you in the eye. For the uninitiated, jamming of this type in fact amounts to someone playing a musical part that they pretend is "just something I made up" (really they've been imagining serenading beautiful women with the riff for months, the fantasy growing more detailed and intoxicating as time elapses) and everyone else not really paying attention and playing solos. It's awesome.
So I soon found myself in Andy's living room with him and his pal Brian Martin. Brian barely said a word. Since I'd been recruited on the strength of my electronic "music" I had brought a pair of Korg MS-10 synthesizers with me, paying no mind to the fact that I couldn't play two synthesizers at once. We screwed around for what seemed an eternity and made horrible music. Then I went home.
The strange part, though, is that some time shortly thereafter we did it again (this time I brought a guitar). And then again. And suddenly we were a band, of sorts. We were called The New Spring Line, and changed our name with the seasons. I played guitar (which I am barely capably of actually playing) as minimally as possible, Brian played guitar (which he can play, thank god), and Andy played bass (which he insists he cannot play, but the facts suggest a different conclusion) and programmed a crappy drum machine. No one sang.
Thanks to the endless pity of show promoters we managed to play a few shows, and I honestly have no idea if we were any good. Our friends and family were excellent actors. Nonetheless we had fun, and amassed something like a hundred bucks for pizza, as memory serves. But then disaster struck! Andy joined a cult.
In our next episode we will reveal the shocking conclusion!
- Jeremy
Sunday, January 17, 2010
TEMOS Goes Blog
Hello Internet,
Touching Earth Made Of Steel - Ottawa's favourite unknown band - is here in the blogoworld. That's right. Here we will catalogue many fascinating things such as our tours across the continent, our continuing flight from the law, and white jeans. Welcome. Visit us. Comment. Visit again. Et cetera.
- TEMOS
Touching Earth Made Of Steel - Ottawa's favourite unknown band - is here in the blogoworld. That's right. Here we will catalogue many fascinating things such as our tours across the continent, our continuing flight from the law, and white jeans. Welcome. Visit us. Comment. Visit again. Et cetera.
- TEMOS
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